My aunt was in town this week and brought veggies from her garden. (She is a fan of this blog… yo Janet!). I got a zucchini as part of this arrangement. I have a nice comfort zone of veggies that I normally buy and make things with, but zucchini are not part of this trusted group. So they’re a little intimidating. Welcome to my life, intimidated by vegetables. (See also: fennel).
So as Frogson napped I opened good ol’ Pinterest, where I knew I’d find a) an idea about something fun to do with a zucchini and possibly even b) a hilarious show wherein I am immensely entertained by the characters I share this earth with. Two for two, baby.
Zucchini chips! Hey, cool, OK! If you don’t want to click over, I’ll walk you through this. There are three ingredients. Guess what, one’s a zucchini. Free space! The other one is coconut oil. The third is salt. You use an oven or a food dehydrator to cook them for a prescribed amount of time which the author kindly provides the reader.
Then I scrolled down to the comments to see if anyone could vouch for these before I invested a bunch of time making them. This is where I stumbled on a minor treasure trove of hilarious comments. (Not quite like the Altoids Addiction forum, which was the find of a lifetime, but still a decent show.)
Now, this is more of a pet peeve, but I hate these comments on recipes. Like there’s 43 Looks great, can’t wait to try! comments and then crickets after that. HELPFUL. All food looks good if you have a nice enough camera. If I just went by how everything looked then I would eat every single meal at Popeye’s because have you SEEN those commercials? The way the breadcrumbs just flake off the chicken fingers when you drop them? MUST BE DELISH. Who does that? Your chicken fingers, madam. OK, let me just ***kerplunk*** ahh yes the crumbs flew up in the air perfectly, thank you.
The woman who runs this blog is a kinder soul than me. Never in a million years would I take even twelve seconds to repeat information that has so obviously already been made available for the reader. Gawd, lazy Millennials. We’re the worst.
Any idea why? Because there are TWO ingredients you add to the zucchini and you screwed up 50% of them. And you kept them in an hour longer than this nice woman said to, ya dummy.
I absolutely believe in compassion and sensitivity (although in writing this blog post, I’m aware I’m not doing the best job living this virtue). Like, my latest irritation is all the rage about allergen bans in preschools and whatever. All the parents who lose their freaking minds about how inconvenient it is to accommodate kids with allergies. Wow, hey, go to the grocery store and send your kid to swim camp with any of the 9,045 peanut-free items available to you! So difficult! Definitely as difficult as having to worry every day if your child will walk down the street, catch a whiff of someone’s sandwich 15 yards away, and have their throat close! Ugh. /rant, as they say.
ANYWAY, I think this comment is a little much. I know it’s easy to find offense in anything, but a person has to work pretty hard to be offended by zucchini chips. What do you think? It is, however, the best display of a passive aggressive smiley I’ve seen in a while.