Dear Hiring Manger,
I am pleased to submit my application for your Part Time Kitchen Assistant vacancy. I have 12 months of strong background in the home kitchen industry. My current supervisor’s selfish need to make me breakfast and hand scrub my sippy cups has resulted in an ability to work independently and make high-level decisions with minimal supervision. Although I am grateful for the experience I’ve been afforded, I am seeking a new environment where creativity and innovation are celebrated, instead of met with exasperated sighs.
I am confident you will see that my application outshines that of my peers. Here are just a few examples of some strengths I bring to the table:
- Maintain impeccable cleanliness standards through the identification and consumption of stray pieces of dog food, remnants from last night’s dinner, and other varia.
- Assist in loading and unloading the dishwasher wherever applicable. Recognized for expertise in selecting sharp objects from utensil basket.
- Test structural integrity of kitchen drawers through application of body weight.
- Work in conjunction with canine colleague to explore and investigate contents of trash can.
- Perform routine removal and reorganization of the cupboard containing cookie sheets, muffin tins, and cutting boards.
- Ensure quality standards by unloading and inventorying boxes of straws, ziplocs, picnicware, lunch bags, and napkins.
- Maintain hygiene code by licking contents of recycling bin.
- Attempt to clear obstructive devices blocking access to cupboard containing cleaning chemicals. The successful completion of this action item remains my top goal for professional development.
In addition to these core competencies, my talent has also resulted in me being called upon to execute various other special projects as assigned. Examples include chewing on refrigerator magnets, emptying the bag of dog food onto the floor, placing self in cupboards and/or the bottom drawer of the oven, upturning the dog’s water dish, and biting the thighs of those distracted while working at sink.
I appreciate your consideration and look forward to discussing my very robust skill set in person. My salary requirements may be fulfilled with cheerios, discs of banana, and watered down apple juice in an Elmo cup.
12 Month Old