Scene: Digging around for something in our spare bedroom and Frogson yanks a random page out of my file folder containing a bazillion user manuals for every appliance under our roof. Divine intervention because who knows if I ever would have otherwise discovered what I am about to share with you. A handout about our dryer:
I cracked up. This personified dryer illustration is henceforth my friend for life.
I feel like this a lot of days too, dryer. Honestly if you’re my spouse I think this image is hitting close to home because I think that is the exact face staring back at him like 40% of the time. I am also going to use the dryer’s exclamations in all our future contentious discussions.
Jeff: Can you try to park straighter in the driveway?
Me: DON’T PLACE ME ON TOP OF MY VENT THIS CHOKES ME
Jeff: It’s just that I don’t have room to get out because your car is so far over.
Me: IF YOU TWIST TIE OR CLOG MY VENT I CAN’T BREATHE
Jeff: And I end up banging the door into your door and scratching the cars.
Me: I CAN’T BREATHE AND WILL COST YOU MONEY TO HAVE ME REPAIRED
Jeff: I thought you looked forward to a long and happy relationship?
Me: [frantically waving my dryer arms in alarm]