My Minimalist’s Field Guide to Baby Crap seemed to go over well with people, so I thought I’d do a little more yammering on a related topic. The dreaded diaper bag.
As a clutterphobe, the only thing scarier than crap inside the house is being bogged down by crap outside the house. This is what I can handle: a handbag. One of them. Anything more and I am struggling and fumbling and getting irritated. Winter is the time where you can find me running around without a coat, because I’d rather freeze on my walk into the grocery store than lug a coat around the whole time I’m in there. Fun fact. OMG BE IN AWE OF MY QUIRKINESS.
Thus, the diaper clutch was born. Pen for scale:
And yes, a few people have remarked “cool diaper bag!” and I’m like IT’S A DIAPER CLUTCH, NOT A BAG, SHOW IT SOME RESPECT YOU BLUBBERING NINNY. Here is why the clutch is awesome: It nests inside a bag. Any bag! So whatever toting apparatus you are headed out of the house with, you can just throw this guy in. If I’m leaving the house without baby, I can yank it out and leave it with Jeff in case he goes out and needs it.
Inside are all the things you really need to change a baby. A blanket to put down, pancaked with precision. A few diaps and a thing of wipes, durr. A grocery bag in case I need to bring a dirty cloth diap home. A change of clothes in the event of a poosplosion, and you better believe that item has come in RATHER HANDY on a few occasions.
And there it sits. Yea, it is still a pretty big space hog inside the bag, but I appreciate that it’s created an anti-clutter trickle down effect, in that it keeps me from lugging around more stuff than I really need. Thus I earn major Yoga street cred. Winning!
Duh, sometimes you do need to bring more than the poop management basics, so anything else we need I just chuck right in there. A few other things I can think of that have helped with that. A pacifier holder, back during the pacifier days I had this clipped right to the outside of my bag, because everyone knows SECONDS COUNT when you have a screamer on your hands, and this saves you even 10 seconds of digging. For when you need to bring baby food somewhere: Dr. Brown’s stackable cups. Love them. You can throw them right in because the things are impenetrable and won’t spew food all over your bag like the time my Tupperware spilled shrimp juice aboard public transportation.
Nine months into the first year and I’ve always been very happy with it. And yea, calm down all of you haters, DISCLAIMER, I’m aware that babies may get more high maintenance as they age. I will cross any future bridges, obviously. I’m also aware of the luxury of him being my first, and if we are blessed with future babies, I know it’s a possibility they could completely devastate any remaining order in my life. More of the bridge crossing. Very worthy bridges.