Useless Commentary

Yay the Superbowl is Over for Another Year

This is one area in which I must shamefully admit to being one of those terrible, pathetic, girly-girls.  All of the standard, popular sports I find waaay too boring and slow to accommodate my attention span.  Whereas the weekend before Christmas I think I watched Battle of the Nutrackers on the “Ovation Network,” whatever that is, for, like 16 hours straight.  That was some quality athletics. 
 
Yea, I’m also kind of bitter about the amount of attention the world gives a bunch of badly behaved millionaires who attack one another for a living.  And I hate to be a hater make a generalization because for all the bad there is so much good in sports, but some days I worry that generation after generation of young boys are looking to the NFL for role models.   Don’t you kind of? And then you look at athletes near and dear to my heart like gymnasts, who work ridiculously hard, don’t get paid, have never in the history of their existence since Ancient Freaking Greece gotten into fights with one another or with officials, and they are lucky to get some attention every 4 years with the Olympics, but otherwise most American households couldn’t give a goose poop. 
 
Anyway.  THAT is a complaint for another day and I sound obnoxious so I’ll step off my soap box thingy now.  🙂  
 
And I take some of that back about disliking the popular sports, baseball is not so terrible if you’re actually at a game.  It’s outside, the weather is nice, there’s beer and ice cream, you can wear cute things, there is a kids page in the program that usually has a word search or a dumbed-down sodoku that can occupy me for a good inning or so. 
 
Football is kind of the worst though.  First I will state for the record that I don’t understand how it works AT ALL, despite many people having tried to explain it to me in my life.  And I will concede that it’s possible I would find it more entertaining if I made an effort to learn and appreciate it.  Possible.
 
My ignorance is extra shameful because I was an actual cheerleader in high school and still don’t know what was happening on the field all those years.  “First and ten, do it again, go fight win!” <–I don’t actually know what that means.  Thank God it fell to our cheer captain to decide whether a given situation warranted an offensive versus a defensive cheer.  That crap might as well be Applied Cosmic Physics. 
 
Football is also extra boring because I swear, nothing happens!  Occasionally someone makes a so-called “interception” or a “catch” but those occurrences last, like, 1 second each, as opposed to the rest of the time they spend in this pattern: 1) assemble 2) attack each other into a giant pile of bodies 3) gain one yard 4) ref whistles 5) players extract selves from pile of bodies 6) Reassemble and repeat for FOUR HOURS. 

SNOOZE! (Sorry…Don’t hate me…)
 
For me, the highlights of last night, in addition to lovely company of course, were…
 
MISTER QUIGLEY:


 
 
GUAC-A-MOLEH! (In my head right now I am singing the “Shots” song but replacing it with “Guac,” that is how much I love this crap).

Yay.  Guac.  Happy Monday.  The end!

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5 thoughts on “Yay the Superbowl is Over for Another Year

  1. I forgot to add: football is also a lot easier to follow than other professional sports because of its 16-game season (which roughly equates to 1 game per week per team). I personally think baseball is the worst because it’s not as exciting and there are so many games per season. I love basketball, but it’s also hard to follow because of the schedule. For this reason, football is the only sport I play fantasy sports in, and it’s become even more exciting because I need to research to win.

    1. Ha I know…. I totally concede that I would probably like it more if I paid actual attention!! Maybe next year this will be my goal : ) You’re right, the 1 game/week thing is very appealing…. : )

  2. I too have the shame of having been a football cheerleader in high school and having no idea what went on. My most of-repeated phrase was “is that a good thing?” to see if I should jump and clap happily, or remain standing awkwardly. Or listen to the crowd for instruction. (I’m pretty sure that defeats the purpose of me being a leader of cheers.) I’ve tried to understand and care, but it’s been trained into me to get disinterested as soon as football music starts.

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