Dear SARAH BECKER,
Thank you for contacting [redacted].
Please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience you may have experienced at our [redacted] club. We evaluate all comments received so we may better fulfill our members needs and expectations.
I have extended your membership as a courtesy to 01/06/12. Please send me your husbands name and member number and I can do the same for him.
We appreciate receiving your feedback and have forwarded your comments and concerns to the Market Manager’s office for investigation.
Member Support Center
Meh. I guess I’ll forgive a few missing apostrophes and accept it. I assume “extended your membership” means I’m not liable for further payment through that point? And that 5 weeks of free membership instead of the 4 I demanded is their way of fulfilling my second demand and compensating me for the rogue yoga instruction without actually acknowledging that this sort of ridiculous thing happened at their facility? Who knows. I don’t actually care. This was 0% about the money and 100% about psychological warfare. And the glory.