One of the things I’ve looooved about this year is that in January we were able to move into a great new home. (Rented of course, don’t get too excited). We had lived in our previous neighborhood for 2 years until it suddenly became really, really trendy and our building decided to ask for $200 more in rent. Later, apartment complex tycoons and hip neighborhood on the metro. And helloooo “revitalizing” area on the bus line! I couldn’t have imagined it working out any more perfectly though, because I ADORE our new neighborhood and would gladly ride a thousand stinky buses before I’d go back to sharing hallways with people in an apartment building. Eww, I always felt weird about that. Like, if I opened my door to make a run to the garbage chute and some stranger happened to be walking by, it was like “Hello there! Do you like my really really messy entryway which you’re 4 feet away from? Don’t mind me taking this trash out in my panda boxer shorts from Limited Too circa 1998 that I inexplicably still own and wear on weekends! Good day!”
Anyway. That doesn’t have anything to do with the story. I’m not sure why I started with that. Is it possible to start with a tangent? We’ll just write that off as a little glimpse into my autobiography, years 2009-2011. You are most welcome.
So today I have to share with you this harrowing tale Jeff heard from a neighbor in our current townhome community. Here we go. So we’ll call this neighbor Neighbor Guy, and he was minding his own business and walking his dog when disaster struck. Another neighborhood member, who apparently is known for his badly behaved and loosely controlled dog, was out with said Bad Dog. Bad Dog was unleashed and took off after a cat, and…. oh my gosh seriously this is insane…. OK…. Bad Dog attacked the cat and…..killed it right there. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT. Now remember Neighbor Guy and his dog were outside witnessing this; upon seeing the attack, Neighbor Guy’s dog LEAPS into his arms and proceeds to poop down his shirt in terror. I want to say that’s comic relief, but actually it’s terrible thinking how scared that poor doggy bystander must have been!
Seriously, I cannot believe this story! If some maniacal, homicidal dog ever attacked or God forbid offed Chooch, I cannot even tell you the level of rage I would have. I would have no problem going to jail to avenge wrongdoing to Chooch. And I HOPE I am being hyperbolic when I say that, but I can’t be positive.
So we got this little insert in our mail today… (neighborhood name redacted such that it’s not stalker fodder)… and the footnotes are references to the condo bylaws, of course:
Safe pets are happy pets indeed.