Sorry, NO

I came across this on Pinterest the other day and… as Carrie Bradshaw would say… I got to thinking.  At first I was like YEA! Right on! So true! But then… I realized… I was lying to myself.  Sigh.

First let me just say, I totally appreciate this sentiment.  These are the sorts of things I try to convince myself of all the time.  My health is actually my main motivation in eating well (OK, maybe vanity is a small percentage).  So when I am out and about at lunch time, carting back some lame-o salad, and I pass someone with a grease-stained McDonald’s bag no doubt containing something much tastier, I am always telling myself outrageous things like “Well OK then Tubberson, why don’t you just ingest sewage!? Be quiet and EAT YOUR LETTUCE! Ugh thank God you have me looking out for your arteries.”

Are these intra-brain conversations a glowing testament to sound mental health? Unclear.  BUT, they’re your only choice, because unlike what that photo above is suggesting, you will never win on taste.  I mean, I want to believe that a carrot truly tastes better than a twinkie… I’m trying… I really am…. but… NO. 



If the beauty and energy of the earth tasted as good as sugar and partially hydrogenated vegetable oil (the sordid sludge of the earth), we’d all have a lot fewer problems.  Carrots taste NOT GOOD.  I mean fruit is at least fairly yummy, but carrots just have nothing going on for them.  The only way they are semi good is if they are acting as a vehicle for something creamy or ranchy.  They taste exactly as you would expect something to taste that was pulled out of DIRT, which is to say, UN TASTY.

This immediately reminded me of all those stupid tips that are always in the girl magazines.  You know the ones that are like: Craving a sweet snack? Instead of reaching for a piece of candy, try some cottage cheese with fresh fruit and ginger shavings!  And I’m like oh my gosh THANK YOU, Glamour! DUH! Why hadn’t I thought of that! Cottage cheese is TOTALLY equally as yummy and accessible as a piece of wrapped candy! Don’t know why it hadn’t occurred to me before!



3 thoughts on “Sorry, NO

  1. I laughed my way through this post. I feel you on the carrot thing. I have never really liked them- raw, cooked, steamed, fried, sauteed…whatever you can come up with. I’m such a child when it comes to vegetables. I’m pretty sure I still hold my breath when I eat them. Let me know if you do come across a vegetable someday that tastes more like a Twinkie than dirt!

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