Gather Round Children It's Story Time

ZOMG EARTHQUAKE!

Oh.  Mah.  God.  Things I did not believe I’d have to worry about when I woke up this morning:

1.  The Washington Monument falling over.
2.  Weathering a 5.9 level earthquake.
3.  Being attacked by a pack of spider monkeys.

OK… 2 OF THOSE THINGS HAPPENED.  And I’m sure everyone is juuuuust a liiiiittle bit tired of hearing about the stinking earthquake, but whatever I’m going to document it for personal perpetuity.

To set the scene.  There I was, at my desk, working, innocently, when….. disaster!  I don’t know if anyone else had the same experience but for us it seemed like things jiggled mildly for a few seconds, then backed off for another few seconds, then the quake rage set in. So, my colleague was standing by my desk as it started, so during that brief lull, thinking whatever it was was over, we sort of looked at either other quizically, then she was like “you know I heard this morning there was an earthquake in ColoradOH MY GOD!!!!!!”

When the building started rocking I pretty much was petrified.  Working many stories up in a huge office building smack dab between the Capitol and the White House, you pretty much resign yourself to the fact that if there’s ever a bomb or a nuke or other terrorist shenanigans, there’s a good chance you’re kapooey.  So, my thinking was pretty much OH SWEET LORD IT’S A BOMB GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD! And when people started shouting “Earthquake! Earthquake!” I was all like Oh right… an earthquake… pfft… we can survive THAT!  Seriously, this is DC, it hadn’t even crossed my mind that this was, you know, an option!

So the people on our end of the hall huddled under a door frame, then from the other end of the hallway we hear “Away from the windows! Away from the windows!”, so mid-quake we scurried to another door frame on the interior side of the office.  Then the fire alarm went off so we got the heck out of there.  So did everyone else on the street.

Fun outside…

Everyone busting their phones out reminded me of this that I saw on Pinterest the other day…

Now, apparently the media was reporting hysteria in the city (including the RIDICULOUS reports of the “leaning” Washington Monument… WTF, seriously) .  Good grief.  I wish I could personally pummel every news network CEO.  Did your scare tactics get you a few extra viewers today? Yea well you also terrified my Grandma, TURDS.

Like, here was that purported metro pandemonium…

Meanwhile… the devastation back at home….

And one more casualty….

 

NO….

 

NO PLEASE!

 

Don’t say it! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

 

wwwWWWaaaaaahhhhhhhh Noooooooo the Scrabble tiles!!!

Oh! Speaking of the tiles.  How could I forget! Voting for the Better Life Bags contest is live through Saturday! Go to their facebook page, “like” the page, then “like” my tiles to vote for them! (Hey… slacker husband… you too!) Yea, I know, nobody likes being f0rced to like random pages, but remember you can revoke your like immediately! Anyone who votes also gets this Awesome Friend Badge proudly posted on their wall:

(You know you want it).  Alright, Jeff pulled an oblique at softball tonight so I’m off to tend to THAT… later gators!

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